I'm in Print!

I am very happy to say, after years and years of toil, tears and sweat, two of my novels are now available on Barnes and Noble! 

click on image for link 

click on image for link

Thus the reason for my absence on this little blog. I have moved on to this new writing journey, in hopes that I can make a go of it. I just dropped on here to inform you all on my new chapter in life, and let you know that if you'd like to support me and read my book, you can find the links for the 'Songs of the Children' series here!

Strength in Measure #1 published 2021

Echoes of Mercy #2 published 2022

Sing Thy Grace #3 WIP: date unknown

Aaaand I must rush off again! As you can see, I just don't have the time for blogging anymore. Thank you all for your support! I love my followers <3 

Always in a tearing hurry,

 

LaKaysha E: Author

The Blood on the His Hands

The Blood On His Hands

I have a heart inside my chest, made of bits of broken glass

The One Who put it back together again was sure to make it last. 

Through the long, hard tests of time, bits of my heart fell away 

Because of things someone did, or what someone forgot to say 

In vain I tried to piece it myself, to fix what had been shattered

But I only made it worse than before, and all the pieces were scattered. 

Then my Jesus came with open arms and told me not to fear 

That He would heal my hurting wounds and wipe away each tear 

With love shining in His eyes, He assured me all was well 

And He pulled my soul from great distress, and plucked me from where I fell 

Despite the sharp bits of my broken heart that

cut into his palm, 

He endured the pain to take away my own, and to my storm brought calm. 

He took the broken pieces that I had scattered throughout all the lands 

And pieced them back together again, with the crimson blood from His Hands 

LaKaysha Stenersen

February 2020

Ever since I heard the song "Broken Things" by Juliet Turner, which is a really pretty tune about a broken heart, I had this image in my mind. Despite it being about a man and a woman, it seemed to depict a picture of Christ as well.

For months I had this picture of Christ putting my broken heart back together again, but I just couldn't seem to find the words to put that image for others to see.

The final line rang through my thoughts for a long time, and I was finally able to sit down and finish the rhyme. What do you ya'll think?

It probably could be better, but I write what comes to me. I only wish I could do the beautiful revelation justice... it was a lovely image in my heart. <3

I couldn't find a very good video of Juliet Turner singing it, so you'll have to hear it by this woman instead. This is the song that inspired the poem. <3 

I hope you all enjoyed that! Have a wonderful day, and God bless. <33

                                                                                           LaKaysha

Question//I Need Your Help

I tried to get the theme as much as I could 

I have been working on a novel for some time now, and I am happy to say it's been a slow, steady progress. I hope to be finished with it before 2020, but we will see...

 Anyways, I have been toying around with a title for quite a while, but nothing seems to really catch my attention. 

I was wondering if the blogger world could help me!

 First, I better give you a quick summary of the main plot point.

Setting: Eastern Oregon (fictional town in the mountains) 1939-1945 

Themes: God's everlasting love, dealing with grief, World War II, music, the bond of family

Characters: A young girl, newly married. A Christian mountain family

Although Katie is the main character in this story, there are many key characters that play a big role and the book basically centers around the entire Hayes family. 

 After losing their father, the family struggles to cope with the empty place at table, and the members slowly begin to pull away from each other. 

Katherine, "Katie", is newly married and also has to learn to cope with the problems and joys of marriage, while trying to find a way to bring the family back together again. 

 Without giving away too many spoilers, the family has to deal with a lot more grief later on in the book, and only the strength and love of God can keep them from completely falling apart. 

 *bounces a little in the chair, because I want to tell so much moooore*

Because of the Hayes' love for music, I was toying around with the idea of using a song title or lyric for the book's title. 

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow? 

He Leadeth Me? 

 Maybe a hymn? Or even an old folk song? Or even a Bible-verse-inspired title? What are your thoughts?

Let me know in the comments below! I'm kind of stuck right now

Like I'm Going to Lose You

"I think he knew I loved him, although I didn't say. I guess I shouldn't have assumed he did, cause now he's gone away...Tell them that you love them, you still have today. Talk about your hearts and souls before they go away." 

God said it is not good that Man should be alone. 
 He wasn't speaking only of a spouse when he said this, although that is a large part of it.  Human beings were not created to be alone. 
Do you ever ponder that? 
Those siblings that live with you, annoy the daylights out of you…they were given to you by God, to be loved by, and to love. 
 I live in a very close-knit family. We tell each other we love one another, squish on the couch together, give hugs when they are needed. 
 Often my siblings and I have been looked down on for this… some say it isn't right for a brother and sister to be so close. It's strange for sisters to be so free with telling each other their feelings. 
 Others think it silly and 'obsessive’ because we tell our parents goodnight and how we love them, even on vacation. 
That's okay. They don't understand. Someday they will. 
 You see, I've seen loved ones taken suddenly, some with warning, some without. Some were very close to my heart, some I didn't know so well. 
But in just a blink of an eye, they were gone. 
 That person who was always there when you went visiting, not always the center of your attention; sometimes just standing in the background of your memories. But they were there. And they touched your life in some way or another. 
 Until they weren't there any longer, and their absence leaves a strange void in your heart. 
Life is precious, dear friend. So precious. 
 I can tell you without hesitation, that if I lost any of my siblings, my mom, my dad...it would tear my world apart. 
 Not a day goes by without me looking back at that little girl standing at her Grandma's bedside, not wanting to even touch her, just because of childish fear. 
 That sweet, wonderful woman held into my arm with a surprisingly strong grip, and tried desperately to speak to me with her eyes. 
 And the most beautiful smile lit up her face, and that's when she let me go. 
Oh, I wish I had held her close then! Told her I loved her! 
 It wasn't until a few years after her passing that I experienced the pain of grief; I was so young when she died. I didn't understand. 
But I do now. 
 So I hold my loved ones so so dear, because now I know. 
We are not promised tomorrow, and none of us have very long in this earth. 
 We don't choose our time; we never know when the ones we truly care about are taken from us… so quickly. 
 I implore you, tell your family you love them. 
Don't wait until your standing by their coffin, or holding their hand as they take their final breath. 
 You may never get the chance again. 
God gave us family for a reason: to give us human companionship, to help us on this walk through life. To remind us just how much He loves us, and how beautiful it is to love someone above ourselves. 
 Your grandparents, your neighbor. That kindred spirit you would be lost without. Your spouse. Your sister, brother, mother, father, cousin, aunt. Anyone who you hold dear to your heart. 
 Tell them how much they mean to you. Through actions, words and deed. 

"So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you. And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye. Wherever we're standing, I won't take you for granted. Cause we'll never know when we'll run out of time. So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you."

Go give your loved ones a hug and let them know they are a gift from God <3 
 Have a wonderful evening, ya'll
                                                                                       

It's Okay to Be Me

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are

I've never been like other girls.
 Growing up, I was considered a tomboy; climbing trees and playing war with my cousins were my favorite pastimes, fourwheeler rides helped put me to sleep, swimming in the river made me grin with pleasure.
 I could stay in the pool for hours, I wasn't afraid of very many things (clowns, always afraid of them) and I guess sometimes that got me into trouble, like the time I disappeared and my mom had to run through the mud (in her white shoes) after me.
  I was pretty rowdy at times, with messy hair, holey jeans and bare feet, sometimes a little too loud, and I guess I did fit the description of a tomboy.
 That made me a little different than the other girls, and I sometimes felt uncomfortable around them, wondering if there was something wrong with me.
As I grew older, I began to change some.
 Suddenly I wanted to do my hair, wear makeup, put on heels and ribbons, and yet I didn't quite know how to do it without having others stare at me in surprise and say, "But you don't care what you like."
 It was frightening for me to step out of my tomboy image, when so many people knew me for it, but I eventually did learn to embrace who I was becoming.
 And yet I was still different. And I still am.
It's been hard for me to accept myself for who I am, because I have always felt so out of place, even with my dearest friends.

 I talk soft, sometimes too soft, and yet, other times, I am so obnoxious I cringe at the thought.
My quiet attitude can intimidate people, causing them to think I am stuck-up or unhappy, but in truth I'm observing them from my place in the corner, pondering what they are saying, wondering just what makes them tick.
 I can read people, pick up on their emotions, and tend to feel the weight of it at times, because my heart aches for them.

 Others think I'm stubborn and narrow-minded.
Someone once said: 'LaKaysha sees the world through a foggy window. She looks at it and says, 'I can't quite see what's out there, but I know I don't want it."
 That remark actually hurt me, but I only chuckled, rolled my eyes and walked away, feeling misjudged and misunderstood.
 I pondered that remark for weeks, with a heavy heart.

 My music taste is different than most of the girls I've come in contact with, and it's often picked on, too, because most teenage girls don't listen to the old country singers, or old gospel albums.
 "They sound uneducated." Someone said.
That hurt me, too, but I moved on without a response, because I have learned you cannot change people's opinions, no matter how much you argue.
 Charley Pride and Alan Jackson will always be dear to me, even if others don't understand it, and Hank Williams will always have a special place in my memories.
 I like the simple things in life, like sunshine, guitars and running criks, starlight, campfires and apple blossoms. Strawberries, fruit pies and spicy cider. Pickup trucks and baseball. Family gatherings filled with guitar music and beautiful singing.

My love for my country is deep, very deep, something other girls shake their heads at and some even scoff, but I can not change this affection I have for the Stars and Stripes.
 I truly love Her. We use that word 'love' a lot, when discussing out favorite movie or ice cream flavor, but that's not really what the word means.
 I love my country, my flag, and the boys overseas, our way of life here in the U.S.A.
I cry on days like December 7th or June 6th, because so many people have stopped caring.
 In a day and age where it's out of fashion to support troops and your nation, this also makes me a little 'odd' to others.

Another thing that makes me different than most...
I've experienced death.
 I know there are others out there who have lost more than I have, but it doesn't change the fact that I have known what grief truly is, and that kind of thing affects the way you look at others.
 The other day my mom was talking about someone approaching her after my Grandma's death and telling her that they couldn't imagine the pain she was in, because they had never lost. Anything.
 I was actually pretty blown away at that. "They've never lost anything?"
The thought of going through life without losing money, loved ones or things you hold dear...It is still unfathomable for me. I can't even imagine it.
 And this also makes me different than some. In fact, some people even get annoyed if you talk about the loved one you lost. Because they don't know what it's like.
 Grief is something that will never go away, and you will be a changed person when it comes.
You're broken a little, inside, and that piece will never be whole again.

I hate the news.
 This is one I've been thoroughly rebuked for, but I hate it for different reasons than they think.
I believe Americans should be informed, but 'all things in moderation'.
 I find when I watch the news, I'm dwelling on the bad, focusing on the sadness all around, and I become emotionally exhausted by the darkness.
 Because I want to fix everything and I can't.

 I love people. 
When I like someone, I don't just like them, I love them. Whether they are someone I've known my whole life, someone I've just met, or someone I've never even spoken to.
My heart wraps them up tightly, I hold them close, and when they let me down, it's like tearing something inside of me. That's when I draw deep inside myself, and it takes a while for me come out.
 Even then I don't stop loving them. In fact, it seems endear them to me even more.
But I won't push my way into someone's life. If I feel unwanted in any way, I give up. I'll always love that person, but I won't beg for their love in return.

People don't get me. I don't think they ever will.
 Because I am different. I'm a home schooled, introvert with big dreams and starry eyes, who likes to sing to herself in an empty garage, cries from beautiful things like newborn babies and sad songs, and wants to hug every person she meets.
And you know, I'm slowly coming to realize, that's okay. 
 Because I am who God made me to be, crafted with His loving hands to do great things for His glory, and not my own.
 The world won't understand me, because I follow a God Who is a god of Love, and peace, and hope. My smile is one of complete bliss, because I know, that despite what they think, my worth is found in the One Who saved me 2,000 years ago.

It's okay to be me. 

Different, not less. 

                                                                                     LaKaysha

Writer's Block

I have been working on this one novel for about...... four years?
 Maybe even longer. Who really keeps track.
It's changed considerably since the beginning, and it keeps changing still.

It's about a young rural girl, growing up in a fictional small town in the Western mountains, during the last few years of the Great Depression.
 Or... at least, it's STARTS during the Great Depression.
But the story carries on until the last days of the second World War.
 The characters are still developing, changing, and growing as I go, and it can be difficult at times.
For example.
 The male character, Alec, was always dark, brown-eyed, and spoke with a gentle Texas drawl.
In looks he always reminded me of someone like Gregory Peck (younger version, of course) , but a bit "gangly" like Jimmy Stewart.

 BUT.
Guys... I just watched Captain America and now Alec can only look like Steve Rogers! UGH
 I picture a scene with Alec, and he smiles at his wife..... no, no, no, not Steve. Think Gregory Peck. tsk tsk.

See? Much too blond. Blue eyes. 

What can you do? *throws hands up*

Also, Katie is supposed to only sixteen years of age when she is married. 

 But she keeps ending up sounding so old and wise, like a mature woman who's seen everything there is to see. 

 I try, and I try, to make her seem young, youthful, and innocent, but she always comes across as an ancient soul.  *groans*

AAAAAAND she has so many siblings, that are IMPORTANT to the story, BUT I can't figure out how to give them more depth in the beginning. 

 I mean, they basically just sit around.

How do you make background character come to life?

It can be frustrating, when the Hayes and Tucker families are so real to me, so close, like old friends, but I can't get them down on paper right. 

So, if you haven't guessed by now, I am suffering dreadfully from Writer's Block. 

All I do lately is re-read my old work and:

seriously, me most of the time

I could start ALL OVER, I suppose. 

 But I have tried that once, and I still hit a stone wall. 

 "Oh, this is going great. BOOM." 

So the world is going to have to wait for Katherine and Alec to come out and capture their hearts. They don't seem in the mood for captivating anybody. 

Just letting out some steam ya'll. 

Am I right?

  

                                                                                  LaKaysha

My Angel

Yesterday I read a post by Julia that really started me thinking.
 Honestly, ya'll, you need to read it. 
 I had a conversation with her on the subject before she posted it, and we discussed a few things back and forth, and I really enjoyed talking with her.
 But as we were chatting, I found myself saying things, that my own mother had instilled in me, since I was a little girl.
 I found it was more than simply repeating what I had heard my whole life. I was stating things I truly believed in. Because of her.
 And as I was commenting on Julia's beautiful post, I mentioned the lessons my mom had taught me, and my heart suddenly became very full.
 I was blown away by the realization that she has given me so much, and I felt the need to write this tribute to her.
 She went through the pain of bringing me into this world, marveling at the red-faced, squalling LaKaysha, and thanking God that her little baby was whole.
 She still speaks of her labor with affection, love and tenderness, remembering how beautiful it was when I was laid in her arms.
 Only a mother could go through such pain and call it beautiful. <33
She spent sleepless nights rocking me, her eyes filled with tired tears as she looked longingly at her soft bed, but she did not complain, and pushed herself through the trying days of having a colic baby.
 She watched me grow, rushed to me when I was hurting, kissed me and held me tight.
Giving me all the love could, striving to let us live in a home that was happy, safe, and full of Christ.
I can only imagine the emotions she felt as she watched me, praying she could raise me to walk in the Right way, asking God to keep me in the palm of His hand.
 The wise words, the simple truths she placed in my heart, instructing me as best as she knew how, hoping the lessons were taking hold.
 Teaching me to watch my tongue, guard my heart from evil, to talk Jesus and Mommy and Daddy whenever I was afraid.
 Striving, struggling, to be a good example for her children.
Loving us as no else could.
 I know she still has sleepless nights, praying for each of her kids and hoping they stay safe.
The trying times when she lost her patience, the hard days of going through life without her own mother, the tears she shed, simply trying to remain strong.
 I treasure her all the more for them.
I can imagine the fears and frustrations she had. And has.
"Am I doing this right? Lord, have I prepared them for this world, that's so full of temptations and fears?"
 As she watches us all grow into adults, with our own personalities and dreams, leaving home to marry, driving and voting, I know she prays for each of our hearts and souls.
 Struggling to let us go.
All those years, we were her babies. She cared for us, nurtured and loved us, and now as we grow, and she has to let her little birds try out their wings, we are STILL her babies.
 I know I do a terrible a job of showing her how much I appreciate her presence.
Arguing and complaining, wishing for more than I have, and failing to see just how much she tries to give us her everything.
 And then I look at her beautiful face, so gentle and kind, her heartwarming smile, and my eyes fill with tears.
 Pride keeps me from going to her, my heart in my hands, and tell her how much I love her, how much I still need her.
 So I write it, something that always came easier for me than speaking out loud.
Dear, sweet Mommy.
 Thank you.
Thank you for the hugs, the kisses, the tears, sleepless nights, endless prayers and the lessons you give me each and every day.
 They did mean something, and they still do.
I can only pray that someday I can be the kind of daughter you can be proud of.
 The kind of woman Christ will be proud of.
I know if I become half the woman you are, I'd be satisfied.
 Those years of tears and joy were not wasted on me, and I treasure you, so very very much.
I love you.

 I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~ Abraham Lincoln

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Suffering passes, while love is eternal. That's a gift that you have received from God. Don't waste it.~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

my mother is my angel

no, it's not mother's day. But this song... 

It's everything I've tried to say. 

(and it's me to to a T, except maybe about being wild)

Give your own mother a little love today. 
 She is the closest thing to an angel you'll have here on earth. 

                                                                                       LaKaysha

Be my Friend

There are times when I cry, and my heart is pained.

There are times when I smile, and my smile is strained.

Sometimes I am afraid, though I don’t let it show

All my pain and insecurities you could never know.

Don’t laugh, or mock me, because you cannot see

The dark and frightening storm, going on inside me.

Some days I lie in bed, the covers over my head

Wishing I didn’t have to face it all, wishing I were dead

I’m only human, and I cry and hurt like you,

Some days it seems like there is nothing I can do

Like you, I am searching, struggling to right my path

Reaching to find an anchor that will last.

So instead of sneering, be the angel God saw fit to send

Take my hand, pray for me, and always be my friend. 

I wrote this a few months ago, when I my heart was aching for all the young people in this world who wander astray, seeking peace they can't find. 

 I see young girls walking through the mall, with spiked hair, tattoos and pierced noses, talking loud and crudely, with hard eyes. 

 It breaks my heart. 

They don't realize they don't need to put up such a front. 

 They don't need to be 'cool' or fit in with today's society, or follow the terrible, dangerous trends of the other young people. 

 And then they look at other girls, with modest clothes, quiet smiles and sincere, caring hearts... What do they think? 

 Do they secretly long to have such a peace as a true Christian has? 

Do they wish they dared to be different, humble.... happy? 

 Not the false happiness that the world has to offer, with it's self-centered slogans and fast-fading glamour, but real, true happiness, that comes from the knowledge of knowing that Jesus Christ is walking beside you every step of the way, and that everything is safely in His nail-pierced hands. 

 I wish I could help them, show them that we really do care. 

Many Christians, without meaning to, fall into a habit of sneering, degrading those wandering people. 

 I'm not saying I condone any evil that lost souls indulge in. I think it's wrong. 

But I also believe we should love these children of God, and earnestly pray for them, show them in a loving manner, that there is a better way to walk. 

 There is a Friend Who will hold their hand, keep them from evil, love them even when they do fall, and will take them in His beautiful home when it comes time. 

 There are so many out there, who don't know this Truth. Who don't WANT this truth. 

And my heart breaks. 

 The One Who crafted the stars, thought the world needed one you. 

And He loves you. You are worth so much to Him.

 I wish you could see that. 

I lost a very, very dear friend of mine to the ways of the world. 

 And I miss her so very much. 

I hope and pray that there will come a day when she'll come back, and know that we still love her. That God still loves her. 

But, until then, my heart will always ache for her

                                          

                                                                             LaKaysha  

  

Letter To Me

I had a beautiful childhood.
 It wasn't always easy, but it was so very, very blessed, and we often forget that there are people out there who didn't have it so nice.
 We often take our blessings for granted, wishing for something different, always wanting the grass on the other side of the fence.
I wish I had known when I was young what I know now.
 If I could time-travel, tell the younger me a few things, oh, the words I would say!

You have so much to be thankful for. Thank God more often. 
 Enjoy Grandma's hugs, listen to her more, tell her how much you love her. She won't always be there. 
 Don't stop hugging Mommy. Pride gets in the way when you are older, and it's not so easy to go back. 
 Hug your friends and family more often, tell them you love them, enjoy every moment with them. Embrace their flaws, love their little quirks and attitudes. Let them know you are praying for them. People slip away from your grasp, one way or another, despite your love for them. 
 Don't be so shy. People aren't all that bad, and they are just as insecure as you. 
Don't rush things, and stop trying to grow before your time. Enjoy your young days, play, run, and laugh. You'll be an adult all too soon.
 When you get to be fifteen, you're going to start dreaming an awful lot about that cowboy on a horse, knight in armor, wishing he would come soon, and he won't, but don't worry. 
 Enjoy your teen years. You'll never get them again, and they end up being a lot of fun.
Stop worrying so much! Those things aren't as important as they seem.
 Don't give up guitar. Starting again isn't easy. 
D O N' T  G I V E  U P. 
 You can do so much if you try. 
Read all you can, learn all you can. Graduation sounds wonderful, but some of the greatest times you'll have is doing your schoolwork. Knowledge is a beautiful thing, and you'll come to miss it.
 Ask questions. Speak up every once in a while. But listen more.
Enjoy those long walks with Mommy, listen to what she has to say, and don't dread the exercise. Those wise words and healthy routines are going to help you when you never thought they would. 
 Read you Bible more. It's easier a habit to get into when you're young
Pray more. God is listening, and He loves you more than you can imagine. 
 'Grace, mercy and peace' are more than words an old preacher says every Sunday, and you'll come cherish them. Listen more in church. 
 Those old men and women you see with shaking hands and wrinkled smiles are special people, to respect and love. When they take your hand and say, 'God BLESS you,' know they mean it. 
 And learn from them.
 Your prayers for your sister's happiness are going to be answered in a beautiful way. Don't fret. She'll be ok, believe me. 
 Driving is hard, and scary, and you don't think you'll ever get it, but you will! And you'll end up loving the drives down back roads.
 You're going to see a lot of tears, a lot of death and parting, but there is going to be so much laughter, so much happiness. A lot of smiles, a lot of hugs and fellowship. 
 God is always, always with you, even though you don't always feel Him, and He is going to do amazing things.
 Change is scary, and hard, but in time, the abnormal becomes normal. Don't fight it too hard. 
 Sing more. It soothes the soul, and brings a smile to everyone's face.
Tears are okay. It won't mean you're weak if you're hurting. 
You really should climb up into the loft in the barn on Grandpa's ranch. You'l never get a chance again. 
 Write Great-Grandpa like you wanted. He's going Home soon. 
Pray for your loved ones more often, and don't judge so much. 
 Don't gossip. It's a hard habit to break. 
Go ahead and be crazy every once in a while! Life is short. 
 Climb those mountains, swim those rivers, laugh, sing, cry. 
'You don't have to live forever. You just have to live.' 
  Life is a crazy, wild thing, but it's a BEAUTIFUL ride, and God has so much in store for you. 
So go have an adventure! 
It's going to be a good one. 

My little message to myself, and to all you out there, too! 

 P.S 

I have decided to keep on blogging, even though I don't have many followers. 

 Perhaps I'll never become a 'great blogger' or a 'great writer' but if my silly little whims, my thoughts and prayers, can touch one heart, lift one soul, it will all be worth it. 

 Perhaps there is one person who needs to hear what I have to say. 

So as of now, I shall keep it up, scribbling away, babbling and musing over this and that, hoping you people won't be too bored.

 Just try and get rid of me! *winks*

                                                                           Signing off for now, 

                                                                                  LaKaysha

Writer: Blessing and a Curse

I love writing.
 I like to think of myself as a writer, although I don't really do much 'real' writing. Just me and my paper are the only ones who see a lot of my work.
 The power of written words can be overwhelming at times, and it seemed so much easier to get my feelings, thoughts, on paper, instead of trying to say them out loud.
 But it isn't always easy.
I think fellow writers can relate?
 There are the times when it seems like you have so many thoughts, all jumbled around in your mind, the words spinning around until they don't make much sense, and you just can't get it down right.
 Inside, you have something great and elaborate to say, your heart feeling so full and deep, and want to write something like this:
"Suffering passes, while love is eternal. That is a gift from God....*so on*" (LIW)
 But it ends up sounding like:
"See Jane run? Jane runs fast."
   Frustrating, isn't it?
And if your heart just doesn't seem to be in your writing, no matter how hard you try, it's not going to turn out. (My life update posts always seem to be hurried and dull for this reason)
 It's hard to be a dreamer, a writer, a thinker.
People sometimes don't understand you, your way of speaking, your quiet ways.
 They don't see the wild storm going inside you, the crazy emotions, the many thoughts swirling around in circles.
 I can write my feelings on paper so easily at times, but socially I can never express myself right.
The words come out either completely jumbled and I sound like a blubbering dummy, or they come out sounding rude and harsh, although they were so gentle and sweet in my head.
 That's the curse of being a writer. An introvert.
Unable to talk with others in a room, always feeling a little out of loop, even though it's really your own fault.

But the blessings of being a writer. A dreamer. 

 You can lose yourself in your own world, forget the troubles of life, ignore the many people that cover the planet, and create your own realm that understands, that hurts in the same way, that laughs and sings your songs. 

 You can also learn to be very observant of others, studying, learning, and becoming in-tune with them, knowing when they are hurting, when they are angry. 

 That's the way you can connect with others, even if you have a hard time sharing with them. 

If people knew how much we introverts notice, they may feel a little unnerved, and 'squirmy' around us, but that's the way we are. 

 That's how we learn to create people and things that hurt in a real way. 

It's we dreamers, thinkers, and writers, that come up with the 'impossible' in the world, the ones that create and craft. 

 The ones that invent, that believe the impossible to be possible, although it takes the hard workers, the steady ones, to make it possible. (See? We need all kinds) 

God made these kind of people for a reason, and where would the world be without them?

                                                                             LaKaysha 

 

Hear the Ever Tender Words of our Lord

This is something I scribbled down a while ago, when I was feeling overwhelmed with personal problems and stressful things that seemed to be swirling around me. 

 Our minds are always so full, aren't they? 

We think about tomorrow, what we will do, what if this happens, what will I wear to so-and-so's wedding, I need more gas in the rig but my checking is getting so low, a loved one is having a hard time, why did my Grandma have to die, how can I face tomorrow, I'm tired, and angry, and afraid and lonely and confused, there's so much going on in our nation right now, my room needs to be cleaned and I just don't have the time, I can't afford that eye appointment, what if my sister's flight is delayed in the middle of the country, I'm not a good enough person, my heart isn't kind enough, I don't smile enough, I don't cry enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm too vain, Grandpa isn't well, how can I be an adult and marry when getting gas is stressful.... WHEW!

 Life's problems seemed to build up, and swirl around in our minds until we feel like grabbing at our hair and screaming, "ENOUGH!" 

 With our minds so full of silly, stressful things, how can we hear that still small voice that is always calling to us. 

 How often do we simply sit back and listen?

Not to our minds, and thoughts, but to simply be still and listen.

Hearken to the Voice of our Savior and tell Him, from the bottom of our hearts, that 'I am really angry and hurt right now. Please, help me.' 

 After letting it all go, releasing all of those crazy, wild emotions that seemed so strong, then can we sit and wait. 

 Wait for His comforting touch, which always comes. 

I'm reminded of when Elijah was up at a cave, in 1 Kings chapter 19, and there was a great strong wind, then an earthquake, then a fire, but the Lord wasn't in any of these, but after the fire, Elijah heard a still small voice. 

 It's a beautiful chapter, if you ever want to look into it

Be Still 

I was hurting, I was empty. 

I felt as if God was gone. 

The days seemed so burdened, 

the dark nights so long. 

I screamed out to the Lord, 

I lashed out in fear. 

But to me He seemed silent,

and deaf to every fear. 

I unleashed all my anger, 

I expressed all my woes

But upon a silent ear they fell, 

like soft drifting snows.

At last my anger gave way, 

shouting, I could do no more. 

And with shaking shoulders and heavy heart

I fell to my knees on the floor. 

The heavy silence seemed calming, 

as I wiped away the tears

And ever so gently and tender, 

a voice spoke to soothe my fears

'In the dark of the night, I am there,

In the day's sunshine I dwell

Always, my presence can reach you, 

even in the lowest Hell. 

In the whirlwind of your anger, 

there, I cannot be. 

For in your spirit of fear

your heart does not welcome me

But when you,at last,can listen, 

once you've simply let it go.

Then does My loving Spirit come in 

and then my peace you'll know

Just rest in my arms, dear child, 

Simply be still and know

That I am holding you closer

and I will never let you go'

LaKaysha Stenersen 

August 2017