I love writing.
I like to think of myself as a writer, although I don't really do much 'real' writing. Just me and my paper are the only ones who see a lot of my work.
The power of written words can be overwhelming at times, and it seemed so much easier to get my feelings, thoughts, on paper, instead of trying to say them out loud.
But it isn't always easy.
I think fellow writers can relate?
There are the times when it seems like you have so many thoughts, all jumbled around in your mind, the words spinning around until they don't make much sense, and you just can't get it down right.
Inside, you have something great and elaborate to say, your heart feeling so full and deep, and want to write something like this:
"Suffering passes, while love is eternal. That is a gift from God....*so on*" (LIW)
But it ends up sounding like:
"See Jane run? Jane runs fast."
Frustrating, isn't it?
And if your heart just doesn't seem to be in your writing, no matter how hard you try, it's not going to turn out. (My life update posts always seem to be hurried and dull for this reason)
It's hard to be a dreamer, a writer, a thinker.
People sometimes don't understand you, your way of speaking, your quiet ways.
They don't see the wild storm going inside you, the crazy emotions, the many thoughts swirling around in circles.
I can write my feelings on paper so easily at times, but socially I can never express myself right.
The words come out either completely jumbled and I sound like a blubbering dummy, or they come out sounding rude and harsh, although they were so gentle and sweet in my head.
That's the curse of being a writer. An introvert.
Unable to talk with others in a room, always feeling a little out of loop, even though it's really your own fault.
But the blessings of being a writer. A dreamer.
You can lose yourself in your own world, forget the troubles of life, ignore the many people that cover the planet, and create your own realm that understands, that hurts in the same way, that laughs and sings your songs.
You can also learn to be very observant of others, studying, learning, and becoming in-tune with them, knowing when they are hurting, when they are angry.
That's the way you can connect with others, even if you have a hard time sharing with them.
If people knew how much we introverts notice, they may feel a little unnerved, and 'squirmy' around us, but that's the way we are.
That's how we learn to create people and things that hurt in a real way.
It's we dreamers, thinkers, and writers, that come up with the 'impossible' in the world, the ones that create and craft.
The ones that invent, that believe the impossible to be possible, although it takes the hard workers, the steady ones, to make it possible. (See? We need all kinds)
God made these kind of people for a reason, and where would the world be without them?