Tuesday, April 17, 2018

You Can Do It

I struggle with insecurities. ALL THE TIME.
 I feel stupid, slow, awkward, and sometimes, I feel like a complete loser.
There are so many dreams, stored up inside this busy head of mine, but few have I ever pursued.
 When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a dancer.
Then it was a nurse. An artist. A singer.
Once, even a lawyer. *laughs at that one*
 As I grew, while being homeschooled, I discovered I loved history; easily memorizing dates and names.
I adored reading. You rarely saw me without a book in my hand.
And I used those two things to find a new passion.
For school, I would read a book on whatever subject chosen, and my mom would have me write an essay or report about what I read.
 And I discovered I loved using words to describe how the book made me feel, how the author felt, and how this book could help others in the world.
 And I've clung to all three of those passions throughout my growing up days, and I still hold them close.
 I've dreamed of using those passions for something of good use; something that would benefit others, longing to reach out to people and uplifting them.
 Sometimes, I even dream of being able to speak... IN PUBLIC. TO A CROWD.
But my doubts, my insecurities, hold me back.
 I'm not good enough.
I'm not educated enough.
 I'm too stupid.
And I stumble over my words when speaking to friends, let alone strangers.

I dream of being a wife and mother.
 But what man would fall in love with me?
I am awkward and shy, vain and self-centered, along with my health problems and insecurities which would probably annoy him to no end.
 There's just too many things wrong with me.

But I want to tell all of you, right now.
 There is nothing so wrong with you, that you can't follow your dreams, your hopes and desires.
Whether it's being a good wife, a called author, or just a good friend.

No one is a failure, when they try.

Albert Einstein didn't speak until he almost four years old, and didn't read until he was seven. He was told, "He won't amount to much."
 He was also dyslexic, and yet, he's considered the smartest man on earth.

Dr. Seuss' book, "To Think I Saw It on Mullberry Street" was rejected 27 times.

Clint Eastwood was, in his own words, "Painfully shy as a child."

Ludwig Van Beethoven's music teacher said he was "hopeless", and during his career, he lost his hearing, becoming completely deaf. And yet, he composed countless songs, becoming on of the most famous composers ever known.

Temple Grandin suffers from autism, was bullied as a child, struggled to cope with people and understand others, until she learned to thrive with her disability.
 She helped the world understand better what it is like to have autism, and showed others with the same diagnosis, that they were "different. Not less."

Despite his honesty and integrity, Abraham Lincoln was considered ugly and awkward, and he was the master of failure.
 He went bankrupt in 1831, was defeated Legislator in 1832. Lost his fiance to death in 1835, was defeated in 1836, and was defeated for U.S Congress in 1843, 1846, 1848, defeated for Senate in 1855. Defeated for Vice-President in 1856.
 In 1858, he was again defeated for U.S Senate.
In 1860, he was, at last, elected for the United States President, and despite many trials, losses, and heartaches, went on to be the most beloved leader of all time.

Thomas Edison

Helen Keller

Walt Disney

Joni Erickson Tada

Nick Vujicic

The list goes on.
 There have been so many famous people who overcame their problems, who never gave up on their dreams, no matter how many times they were pushed down.
 And so, I want to show all of those out there, who are feeling like they are unqualified to pursue their dreams, or those who feel like you've been knocked down too many times, pushing against a closed door:

"If you've never failed, you've never tried anything new."

And more importantly:

"I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13 

Sometimes we need to be tested, again and again, before our dreams can become a reality, but that doesn't mean that we should give up. 
 Yes, I believe there are times when God closes a door, and says, 'No', and that is the time to turn away from that door. 
 But that isn't giving up. It's simply following His calling, even if that sometimes means turning around and walking back down the hallway, with a peaceful heart and an adventurous spirit. 
 Just watch. Another door will open.
Because we are to never, ever give up. 
 Never give up on your dreams. Your wishes. Passions. 

And you are not a failure. 
 As a daughter, as a friend, a mother, a father, a son, a wife, a writer, a singer, an employee...
No man, is a failure, if he keeps on trying. 

 Why I wrote this? 
I don't even know. I suddenly had the need. 
 So I hope it will encourage someone today, and I pray they are reminded, 
"A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work."

Never Give Up 

Have you ever felt like a failure? 

Monday, April 2, 2018

March Wrap Up

It's April already...................?
 My, how time flies.
It has been a busy month for me. (Ugh, LaKaysha you say that in every update)
 Sorry, guys, if I sound like a broken record.
I have an official job now. *YAYYYYYYYYYYY*
  I clean house, fold clothes, and homeschool my boss's kids, and so far it's been once a week, but hoping for more later on. (because I NEED some income. cough)
 So besides that, I also did a lot of yard work for my Grandpa (with Chancy and Daminika), pruning the fruit trees, hauling and stacking wood, gathering branches, ect.
 It was a lot of work, but I enjoyed helping my Grandpa out.
Plus, he makes delicious lunches. *wink*

I've been writing again, which feel wonderful! <3
 My characters are becoming so real again, like good old friends, and I didn't realize how much I missed them. *hugs them all to my heart*
 My family hates it when I'm writing, but they don't understand the long process, AND they don't understand how utterly frustrating it is to be constantly interrupted during a very important moment in the story, when your really feeling the inspiration.
 "Get off the computer. I haven't seen you all day. I hate it when you're writing. You get so grumpy."
They begin to lean over my shoulder and read out loud, in dramatic voices.
I am ready to throw them all out single-handily.

 But I really have loved throwing myself back into Katie's world, rediscovering the power and magic of words, AND being able to shape Nolan's character more. 
 He's not the main hero, but I love him so much. He's like... a dash of awesomeness. 

I have been working out more, which has always been something I've loved doing. 
 Yes, there are nuts like me who LIKE to exercise. 
One of my goals is to be as fit and flexible as possible, because I have never been 'stretchy', unlike some people I know, who can stretch and fold like a taco. 
 I've also tried avoiding sugar, just because I feel better about myself when I do. 
BUT I have not given up an occasional milkshake. Yet. 
 I have actually skipped the fancy coffee's I love, and chose a delicious smoothie instead. 
MANGO....... *dies*
 So I think that 'mostly' wraps up what I've been doing. 
Same old hum-drum of daily life. 

 Now a rather large photo dump:

I just love small towns

me and some of the other gals 
took a hike in early March. 
It was exhilarating <3

someday we're going all the way to 
Silver Star. Think we can do it?

there was still plenty of snow up top. 

One of my favorite drinks of all time <3333

pruning trees works up quite an appetite.
I had two of these *covers face*

my battle wounds from the fruit trees

we took a walk another morning, but didn't take the 
hard trails this time

Emily wasn't here for my 20th birthday, so she 
wanted to take me out. 
Naturally sugar-free frozen yogurt. <33333

Mango smoothie from Arrowhead 
*cries for more*

working hard

my last three dollars of the month....
on a pretzel. What can I say?

late night character sketching
This is Nolan, who I mentioned a moment ago. 
I fell in love with this quick sketch of him *laughs*
 He's so utterly adorable

I have also been reading again, which has been nice <3
This one was pretty good :) 

yes, another mango smoothie

My double second cousin, Chrissa, born on my birthday! 

AND also my double second cousin, Leah, ALSO born 
on my birthday, just hours apart from her cousin

sister texts *laughs* 
I'm so witty sometimes, I amaze myself 

Daminika finally got around to taking my 
birthday pictures, but I hated my face, so you 
are only going to see a random photo of my new shirt. 
So sorry

Currently listening to:

Eye of the Tiger by Survivor 

A Million Dreams from 'The Greatest Showman'

Can I Trust You With My Heart by Travis Tritt 

He's Alive by Dolly Parton

Honey by Dean Martin

More Than a Name on a Wall by Jimmy Fortune
                          sorry, the sound is off

(that's quite a variety. *chuckles)

Currently read:

I really enjoyed this one <3

And of course, I read 'For Love and Honor' 

How was your March? 

Mango or Peach smoothies?


Friday, March 23, 2018

Spring Cleaning Writer Tag Challenge

My sweet friend Shantelle Mary  tagged me for this, and I was quite pleased at the thought. Thank you, dear! <3 

The Rules:

  • Link back to the person who tagged you
  • Share the picture
  • Answer the questions (naturally…) or even pick and choose which ones you answer
  • Tag 3 other writers and inform them that you tagged them (via comment/message/email or hey, even carrier-pigeon or smoke signal; I’m not picky)

1. Dust-bunnies and Plot-bunnies: Reorganize Your Writing Goals (Or Make New Ones)

I'm actually going to skip the first question, if you will forgive me. *cough* 
 Because I really don't have any writing goals. lol
I'm really to busy to set a certain goal, so I write whenever I have the time, or whenever the 'genius burns' as Jo would say. 

2. Which Stage Are You At? Expound!

a. Remodeling layouts (planning the story)
b. Painting the walls in colorful hues (writing)
c. Polishing the windows and scrubbing the floors and putting flowers in vases (editing)
d. Blueprints (not to the cleaning or remodeling yet … just drawing up plans for the very beginning inklings of a story)
e. Some combination of those things (cleaning out a closet)

Hmm...... I'd definitely say E. 
 I am not a very organized writer. AT ALL. 
I plan the story, at the same time as writing, but then I also go back and edit what I last wrote, plus I have the 'blueprints' for the second book which I keep scribbling, even when I tell myself I have to finish book number one FIRST! 
 So.... yeah. No wonder I get overwhelmed. *chuckle* 
But that's the way I roll, I guess. 

3. Treasure From the Back of the Closet (Share one to three snippets you love!)

  I wrote this once when I was feeling starry-eyed and 'dreamy', and although I never wrote it with the intentions of it being used in one of my novels, I do have an idea which book it could be used in. 

This from my novel, (I may change the title?) I Know Who Holds Tomorrow, and this is from a very sad part in the character's life, if you can't tell. 
 But don't get too down! It all turns out, all right in the end. *wink* 
I wanted to show just how much the loved ones of service men go through, waiting and praying for their men to come home. 
 And they don't always make it home. 

 Okay, guys, I promise this novel isn't all gloom and doom.  
But maybe the hurt and sadness in my characters flows so much easier?

3.5. Bonus: Do Some Actual Spring Cleaning of Your Writer Self! (and share a picture!)

I just got my writing desk, so  it would pretty pointless to do some actual cleaning. lol

yes, I stole this from Daminika. So sorry

This is where I draw, write and sew. 
 My aunt and uncle gave me this desk recently, and it has made things so much neater in my room. 
No more pencils and blending sticks just floating around. 
 Not to mention the piles of scrap material. (it's hiding inside, plus the sewing machine)



Well, that was fun! 
 I hope you enjoyed, even if I made my book sound sad, drear, and full of sorrow. *ahem* 

Which snippet was your favorite?


Tuesday, March 6, 2018

February// Life Update

Honestly, I haven't too much to say about last month's activities.
 We've been trying to recover from the crazy days of Felicity's wedding, but they don't seem to have slowed down much.
my beautiful sister before she became a wife

I just love this picture <3

 I've been working again *hooray!* so my days have been filled up.
At least they were pretty filled up until the snows came and we were snowed in for a week, but even then I kept pretty busy.
 I turned 20 on the 12th, so I am officially out of the teenage category. So sad.
But I had an enjoyable birthday, going out with my parents and relaxing, and a bit earlier in the week, I went out to coffee with my friends, and a visiting cousin from NH, which was a lot of fun. *wide smile*
 So far I have been surviving this adult things pretty good.
And now for a not-so-large photo dump:

Liberty got a new dog

hanging at the aunts, because it's what we do

view from work

I dug out some of my old paintings

Ok, guys, this movie is awful. 
Heart-breaking. Intense
I loved and hated it at the same time *wink* 

walked to Arrowhead and the library from Marissa and Marita's
I love small towns

This view.... <3 
It's changed some since I was little, and yet, always the same
The view from my Grandpa's porch

Felicity sent me a card in the mail

And the twins sent their birthday wishes! <3 

Birthday dinner at Black Angus

working on my latest project

AAAAAND it snowed

making the most of the snow. 
homemade watermelon snow cone

Finished Ricky and he has joined the rest of my friends
on my rather full wall

Gregory Peck is the drawing I've been the most pleased with. 
Don looks pretty good, too ;P

We ventured out in the snow

sisters can be so rude

she doesn't appreciate my wit at all

Kirsten ate ice cream without us. 
Honesty is what makes real friendships *laughs*

I hope you had a wonderful February!