My Angel

Yesterday I read a post by Julia that really started me thinking.
 Honestly, ya'll, you need to read it. 
 I had a conversation with her on the subject before she posted it, and we discussed a few things back and forth, and I really enjoyed talking with her.
 But as we were chatting, I found myself saying things, that my own mother had instilled in me, since I was a little girl.
 I found it was more than simply repeating what I had heard my whole life. I was stating things I truly believed in. Because of her.
 And as I was commenting on Julia's beautiful post, I mentioned the lessons my mom had taught me, and my heart suddenly became very full.
 I was blown away by the realization that she has given me so much, and I felt the need to write this tribute to her.
 She went through the pain of bringing me into this world, marveling at the red-faced, squalling LaKaysha, and thanking God that her little baby was whole.
 She still speaks of her labor with affection, love and tenderness, remembering how beautiful it was when I was laid in her arms.
 Only a mother could go through such pain and call it beautiful. <33
She spent sleepless nights rocking me, her eyes filled with tired tears as she looked longingly at her soft bed, but she did not complain, and pushed herself through the trying days of having a colic baby.
 She watched me grow, rushed to me when I was hurting, kissed me and held me tight.
Giving me all the love could, striving to let us live in a home that was happy, safe, and full of Christ.
I can only imagine the emotions she felt as she watched me, praying she could raise me to walk in the Right way, asking God to keep me in the palm of His hand.
 The wise words, the simple truths she placed in my heart, instructing me as best as she knew how, hoping the lessons were taking hold.
 Teaching me to watch my tongue, guard my heart from evil, to talk Jesus and Mommy and Daddy whenever I was afraid.
 Striving, struggling, to be a good example for her children.
Loving us as no else could.
 I know she still has sleepless nights, praying for each of her kids and hoping they stay safe.
The trying times when she lost her patience, the hard days of going through life without her own mother, the tears she shed, simply trying to remain strong.
 I treasure her all the more for them.
I can imagine the fears and frustrations she had. And has.
"Am I doing this right? Lord, have I prepared them for this world, that's so full of temptations and fears?"
 As she watches us all grow into adults, with our own personalities and dreams, leaving home to marry, driving and voting, I know she prays for each of our hearts and souls.
 Struggling to let us go.
All those years, we were her babies. She cared for us, nurtured and loved us, and now as we grow, and she has to let her little birds try out their wings, we are STILL her babies.
 I know I do a terrible a job of showing her how much I appreciate her presence.
Arguing and complaining, wishing for more than I have, and failing to see just how much she tries to give us her everything.
 And then I look at her beautiful face, so gentle and kind, her heartwarming smile, and my eyes fill with tears.
 Pride keeps me from going to her, my heart in my hands, and tell her how much I love her, how much I still need her.
 So I write it, something that always came easier for me than speaking out loud.
Dear, sweet Mommy.
 Thank you.
Thank you for the hugs, the kisses, the tears, sleepless nights, endless prayers and the lessons you give me each and every day.
 They did mean something, and they still do.
I can only pray that someday I can be the kind of daughter you can be proud of.
 The kind of woman Christ will be proud of.
I know if I become half the woman you are, I'd be satisfied.
 Those years of tears and joy were not wasted on me, and I treasure you, so very very much.
I love you.

 I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~ Abraham Lincoln

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Suffering passes, while love is eternal. That's a gift that you have received from God. Don't waste it.~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

my mother is my angel

no, it's not mother's day. But this song... 

It's everything I've tried to say. 

(and it's me to to a T, except maybe about being wild)

Give your own mother a little love today. 
 She is the closest thing to an angel you'll have here on earth. 

                                                                                       LaKaysha