Again and Again

pc: Pinterest

 I have been absent, I know.
 Please, allow me to explain.

It's been a rough time for me, personally, this past few months.
 My bank account was getting lower, and lower and lower., until I was becoming quite anxious and overwhelmed, realizing I couldn't keep this up.
 My once-a-week cleaning job wasn't keeping up with my constant needs and bills (gas, phone, eye care, ect.) and, at the possibility of sounding like a vain creature, my wardrobe looks pretty sad.
 It was a struggle to keep gas in my vehicle, and when friends wanted to go out for lunch, I'd always get a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach, because I knew I couldn't.
 I couldn't seem to find anything worthwhile, that would actually pay well, plus be convenient for someone as insecure is me.
 No place I inquired about was hiring. I even asked at my favorite coffee shop, but I'm pretty sure they only hire relatives, so I came up empty there, too.
 I was practically down to my last dollar, and I couldn't take it anymore.
One night I actually broke down, crying and stating I didn't know what I was doing anymore, where I was going from here; why did I even exist?
 Nothing seemed to be going right for me, and all my prayers seemed to be falling on a silent ear.
Down to my last options, I typed on the ALC Facebook page:
 "Looking for a babysitting/cleaning job. Would prefer to work for someone within the church, part-time. If you are interested, or know of someone in need of help, please let me know!"
 I pushed the 'post' button and walked away, doubting I would even get a response.
'O, ye of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?'
 Only a few days later, a woman messaged me about a nanny job, which sounded a little sketchy, but I was considering it, and asked God to show me if that's what he wanted me to do.
 The next day I got another message, from a relative, Myrna Jussila. 
She was moving and needed someone to take over some of her clients, if I would be interested.
 Well, of course I told her I certainly was, as was my sister Daminika, and she filled me on the details. It sounded appealing enough, and I pretty much agreed to give it a try.
 A job at last! My prayers had been answered.
 One kink in the plans, though: We had to buy our own vacuum.
Like the ungrateful, weak creature that I am, I promptly switched my stress from finding a job to figuring out how to buy a vacuum. I mean, they aren't the cheapest item in the store.
 The following Sunday I was seated in church, and instead of listening to the sermon as I ought, I was stressing over where on earth was I going to get the money for a vacuum.
 I prayed that maybe someone had one they no longer wanted and would let us take it, or maybe randomly win one, shoot, maybe even have one fall into my lap.
Anyway possible, Lord, help me find one!
After church, we went home, and I went into my room to change out of my church clothes. A message flashed across my cell phone screen.
 "Hey, girls, I found a vacuum for only $50!"
 No way. 
Another prayer answered.
 This may seem like a little thing to some, but it had been weighing on my mind until I thought I would surely scream from the anxiety, and here one 'falls in my lap.'
I could have cried for joy, but again, my happiness soon gave way to anxiety, as I dreaded the days when I would have to go and meet the owners of the houses I would be cleaning.
 Talking is not my thing. 
The night before we were to meet our first client, I was a nervous wreck, and then this song popped up on my Youtube.

Again, I moved to tears, as I realized my lack of faith, my silly fretting over petty things that were out of my control.
 And so now, as I slowly become adjusted to another new season in my life, I often have to remind myself, 'Over and over, again and again God is faithful.'

I don't know how long this season will last, or how things will go, but the best thing I can do is square my shoulders and just keep moving forward, knowing 'Jesus is with me, so I'll claim the victory.'

On a lighter side, I'm super excited about another upcoming season: Fall!
 I have never been the type to cling to summer, in fact, I always look forward to the changing seasons, because there is always something breathtaking about each one.
 Summer has sunny days, relaxing evenings and river walks, while Winter is full of crackling fires, Christmas trees, snow, and peppermint candies.
 Spring has lush green grass, bright wildflowers and songbirds.
Fall....
 Ah, Autumn.
The last of the harvesting is under way, apples are pressed into cider, leaves are raked into piles perfect for leaping into, rain patters the rooftops and waters the grass that's been bleached and burnt by summer's heat.
 You can see your breath as you snuggle into your jacket and scarf, clutching a steaming mug of spicy tea while listening to the sounds of nature.
 Boots and sweaters.
Thanksgiving and foggy mornings.
 There is so much to love about this coming season!

What life-changing season do you remember the most?

Apple cider or Pumpkin coffee?

                                                            LaKaysha