Where Do I Go From Here?//Learning to Live

You all know my issues with being single, having anxiety, and all that jazz.
 I've written about it before.
Why hasn't he come yet?
What am I supposed to do with my life?
 Whine, whine, whine.
This is partly why I took that wonderful vacation to New Hampshire; to get away from things, to take a moment to breathe, and to simply enjoy being with family.
 And it was amazing.
I know, I keep saying that, but I had such a great time, ya'll!
 I snuggled with my sweet little cousins that I miss so much, hung out with a cousin who I haven't really talked to in a long time, got to know him better, and I stepped out of my comfort zone to do things I would never have here at home.
 I went Glow Bowling, I drove a stick-shift (NEVER would have dreamed of it before) went to a gathering where I didn't really know anybody, and went to volleyball....
 Sounds like nothing to you, but to an insecure introvert like me, it's a big deal.
I was so... happy.
 I didn't realize how unhappy I had been until we flew out and I saw how other young people live.
One night, Tyrel took Daminika and I to volleyball, and we didn't really talk to anyone.
 Just sat up against a brick wall and watched the game.
But as I was sitting there, the thought occurred to me.
 I can be content with where I am.
So I'm not married.
Obviously God knows that I am not ready for marriage just yet.
But, you know, I can still be quite happy.
 Sitting around pouting because I haven't a boyfriend isn't the way to live at all.
I'm nineteen years old!
 It isn't like I'm an old maid, with no future in sight.
I enjoyed hanging out with the guys, without looking around and wondering if there were any available.
 All the guys I hung out with were my cousins, anyways. lol
But I realized that I should simply enjoy living.
  If I can't be content with being single, then how can I be content with the problems that arise if I do marry?
 It isn't what life gives you, it's how you respond.
I guess, what I'm trying to say (and doing a terrible job at that) is that God finally got through to me, and told me to relax.
 Wait.
If you've read my sister Felicity's blog, you'd know that she now has a man of her own, and that she once had a similar revelation.
 I love the way she put it.
"Wait. It's going to be beautiful."
 I have been job hunting for a while now, with no prospects in sight, and it can get pretty overwhelming at times.
 But I have learned to breathe.
I have learned that life is beautiful, with all the bumps and curves, the storms and turmoil, and God gave me a great, wonderful purpose.
 To live for Him.
In any way He sees fit.
'He makes all things beautiful, in His time.'
 I still have my problems, but the trip to NH did wonders for me, and God opened my eyes to things I have never seen before.
 Showed me that it's all in His hands.
'I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.'

                                                                                    LaKaysha