A Bit of an Apology// Confession

pic found on Pinterest

I've been feeling...restless lately.
 Have you ever had a feeling of longing, for something you've never seen, someone you've never met, a place you've never been?
 Like there's an aching in your heart for something you can't exactly pin-point, but it's there just the same?

I haven't been writing on here very often, and mainly it's because I haven't felt the need... the want, to sit down and type out something deep and meaningful.
 My job hasn't been going the greatest; I worry my boss only hired me to help me out and isn't happy with my efforts.
 The search for a new job keeps coming up empty, or something does come my way that just isn't for me. Maybe it's me that's wrong? Maybe I need to simply push away any anxieties or disinterests and take the first job that comes.
 But if I have to do something for the rest of my life, shouldn't it be something I love? I mean, I've had a job I hated... I don't want to do that again.
 I'm struggling to find a purpose for myself.
I want to do something that makes a difference, but where to start? How to find the meaning and joy in something that will also support me?

My heart feels so empty, and I'm not even sure why.
 It frustrates me at times, because I feel lonely and moody for no apparent reason; when someone asks me about it, I say I'm fine, because I don't know what else to say.
 My prayers are often simply, "Less of me, more of You," because I need something to fill this space inside me... I need Christ to engulf my heart and satisfy me.
 I know all this, and it's my plea often.
So why do I still feel this way?

Yesterday I went on a coffee date with a dear friend, Shantelle, and we had a good long chat for over two hours. <3
 I greatly enjoyed talking with her, opening my heart, and seeing that I'm not the only one who had gone through this.
 I can't even remember all she said, but I only know she made me feel so much more loved after our conversation. That it was okay to feel incomplete. That it was okay to be struggling.
 She assured me that God is hearing my prayers and He will answer them in due time.
That I'm not wicked and hopeless because of my struggles.

Sometimes a long talk with a sister in Christ is all you need to be reminded that everything will be all right, in due time. 

So, in a rather roundabout way, that's my explanation as to why this blog has been rather dull lately. I do apologize, but there isn't much I can do about it right now.

 I mean, you can't write on demand.... 

At least, I can't. Maybe other writers can. 

So when I come out of this writer's slump, I'll try to jot down some great post that will have ya'll rubbing your hands in glee..... 

 But till then, signing off, 

                                                                                                        LaKaysha